12 days left / I fallen way too deep / Stop crying.
At first, i thought it's only 2 weeks & 2 days , it'll past in a blink of eye but now , I'm wrong. Totally wrong with this kind of thinking. I'm very miserable & feeling very terrible now. I hate being like that but i can't stop myself from being like this!
When i walk on streets, i saw couples holding hands being sweet towards each other, i'll think of you . When i hear the songs playing on my computer, I'll miss you. Whenever someone open the door, I'll think it's you who came to give me a surprise but it's all illusion. It's all one sided. Why am i thinking so much & missing you like a crazy woman who needs to be admitted to IMH ( abit kua zhang but who cares ? )
I'm on msn with Huixuan'wifey, she told me a lot . She ask me to cry if i really wanna cry but i can't . I can't be so weak . No i can never be this way, i must stay strong for the sake of me & baby. i shouldn't let him worry about me .
Apart from this, I've lots more to worry about. I've to worry about my pay & everything. Being sick is also a crime? Why can't humans be sick just because they're working? Can i predict the future & tell people that i know i'll be sick tomorrow so i'm taking an MC in advance. wtf ? that's nonsense seriously. I had enough, i don't like working in this environment. I'll quit my job, if it's possible tomorrow. I'd breach my contract & give up everything now including the present i wanna buy for baby. I'm sorry dear, I've let you down because i couldn't carry on the plan that i had in mind now. I'm sorry to let you celebrate a birthday that's not happy. I'm not a good girlfriend, I'm sorry.
I miss you, Baby. Call me soon, I need you to keep me going on & on.
p/s ; it's 12.01 now, I've left with 287 hours 59 mins more before i could see you.

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