值得?
Sometimes, I asked myself, if i really cherish those stuffs/people beside me like my family, girlfr(s) & of cause, including Glenn.
I don't know what's happening to me. I feel myself damn wrong recently. Be it to family or Glenn but i don't think i did that to my girlfr(s), i don't know why either? I'm always showing attitude to them especially Glenn. I don't know why he have to bear with me so much. I'm not having my monthly period mood swing but I don't know why, my temper isn't good recently. Maybe I took him for granted? Because i know he won't leave me. Maybe because i can't express myself well enough to let him understand what I'm trying to convey to him? Of cause, he would ask me & I would give him that damn pek chek tone. I don't know what's wrong with me. Argh. I'm fine the past few weeks but I started to be like this now!
I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't take things for granted. I should cherish. Baby, don't treat me so good anymore, seriously. The better you treat me, the more i feel guilty. Maybe, I'm ain't a good girlfr to you? I don't know. I'm not emotional here but I'm just trying to type out things that I don't know how to express to him. I don't know how should i put it to words to let him understand what I'm actually thinking.
In the first place, I shouldn't have asked you to change, to a better person. Example to quit smoking & speaking less vulgarities. I know everything can't change overnight. I can't change my attitude overnight too. & I know, most importantly, I can't be so selfish just because I wanna a better you. Maybe I think it's good for you, but maybe you think it's not yourself anymore. & I should love you for who you are but sometimes, there are things that I can't accept for being my boyfr ( even it past 1 year+ already, but this topic, I've talked to you about it before isn't it baby? )I just wanna a better you. I'm selfish, sorry.
I'm actually afraid of my character, not many people could understand me well & stand my sucky attitude but of cause, there's always people who can understand me well too like Huimin, Kunmiao, Ivy, SiewVoon, Shiyun & Jingwen. Thankyou girlfr(s) :D I don't know if I've changed over the years, during my sec1 till now, which is the better me? I don't know. But i still wanna a better me. If only, I'm not addicted to maple few years ago & dropped my 7th subject just because i wanna head home & chiong my stupid maple character , not speak vulgarities so often. & a better attitude & not those fcuked up one. If only If only.. regrets only. If I haven't dropped my 7th subject, maybe, i would have a better time in my sec5 now.
A better me, please?

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